I’ve always been drawn to songs, poems, or books that speak of love as a painful addiction, something that we are compelled to do despite knowing better. Jack White’s Love Interruption is a beautiful example of this.
Hozier, an Irish musician, has recently been brought to my attention, and I’ve been mesmerized ever since. His song Take Me To Church captures that sense of haunted compulsion that comes with love at its most raw. Some of the lyrics remind me of us, my fellow Kinksters, and the push/pull so many of us feel as we engage in things that the outside world abhors. Even years after learning to accept and embrace who we are and what we enjoy, I know that, for some, there are still tinges of fear – that what our partners are only feigning acceptance; coworkers or family may discover our deep, dark secrets; or we’ll be outed as freaks.
I’m about as sex positive as they come, so I’m aware that what I’m writing today can be construed as hating on the kink community. I’m not, though. For me, what I’m into wouldn’t be as exciting if it was openly accepted in all settings. Of all the things that make my sex life fun and exciting, the danger and the secrecy can’t be ignored. Sissy’s brand of humiliation underscores this; if he were accepted as he is, he wouldn’t be humiliated by it, and then he’d lose the thing that gets him off so much.
This is a quick blog post after a long absence, on a topic that warrants lots of words and contemplation. My whole point, really, was to get you here – the lyrics from Take Me to Church that have captivated me, wrapping me in a cloak of threat and fear and a passionate love that swells until it overtakes me:
My Church offers no absolutes.
She tells me, ‘Worship in the bedroom.’
The only heaven I’ll be sent to
Is when I’m alone with you—
I was born sick,
But I love it
Command me to be well
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
Let’s make this one interactive… What songs or poetry hit you in the right spot? Does Take Me to Church get into your soul the way it gets into mine? What do you think about my premise that what we do is heightened by the “danger” of it, whatever “danger” may mean to you? For me, “danger” isn’t the physical risk of some of the more extreme types of play, but more of an emotional danger; maybe “danger” means something else to you, though. Give us your thoughts!