imperfect keyheld

by MissH213

I’m pissed.

For the first time ever, I told C “no” when he asked me to unlock the cage. I said no for a couple of reasons. First, I’ve never said no before, and I know he’s come to expect me to say yes, so that the entire exercise of asking whether he can be unlocked is really pretty meaningless. He doesn’t even bother to present himself the way he is supposed to: completely naked, with his hands behind his head. I don’t like the way a “yes” is now the foregone conclusion, and I’d been planning to shake things up a bit.

Earlier this evening, we watched a movie together. I was flipping through catalogs and casually mentioned that he should buy me a sweater I liked. He didn’t look up from the movie, snorted a “yeah, right,” and that was the end of that. Although I didn’t really expect him to buy the sweater, I wasn’t too keen on being summarily dismissed.

There’s my reason, I thought, to say no. If a sissy’s job is to take care of his mistress and her needs, to make her feel special and taken care of, Sissy is failing.

In the meantime, C knew he was falling asleep, and when I got up to take a shower after the movie, he asked me to run a load of laundry for him when I finished. Let me assure you, this is not the division of chores in my household, and I let him know it.

C fell asleep while I showered. When I finished, I went ahead and did his laundry. I know he has to get up so early in the morning and that he needed clean clothes for work. I wanted to do something nice for him and let him sleep.

He woke up a couple of hours later, and stumbled out to me in the living room. In that irritated voice some people have when they first wake up, he asked if I would unlock him. He was not naked, nor was he submissive. He wasn’t even nice about asking; he was annoyed to have to ask.

So, I said, “no.” He responded not as a sissy, or even as a submissive, but as a half-asleep husband who was disinterested in even asking a question that he was certain would be answered with a yes. To summarize, the next 10 sentences or so between us were ugly. 

In the end, I gave him the key and walked away, making sure to let him know I’d done his laundry, too. He was equally mad, slamming the bathroom door. And, he went straight back to bed after, rather than say goodnight or apologize.

Right now, I’m most pissed that I gave in. I should have stuck with my first answer. He didn’t deserve to be unlocked, regardless of whether it’s uncomfortable to sleep caged. He didn’t earn getting unlocked. When we get into these spats, though, I just want to take my ball and go home. I want to completely disconnect from the kink and from him and go take care of myself when I feel like he hasn’t taken care of me.

That’s the thing about being the mistress in a real life, loving relationship. Although I should have just said no and stuck to it, I still have the emotions attached – I felt rejected that he not only pushed back when I said no, but actually fought me on it. I felt stupid, trying to enforce the cage rules when he clearly wasn’t in “the zone.” I responded by accusing him of acting like a bitch and throwing the cage keys into his hand.

At this moment, he’s sound asleep and I’m blogging about a fight I wonder if he’ll even remember in the morning. I felt compelled to write because I’m having one of those moments where I just wonder – what the hell are we doing? Was I wrong to pick this night to say no? Was my timing bad because I knew he was half asleep? Or, was I entitled to say no whenever I wanted, and I should have just followed through? 

I don’t know, Dear Reader. It’s just one of those nights, I guess.

5 Comments to “imperfect keyheld”

  1. I wish to be sub to my wife. Caged to meet her needs. I’m a novice I accept, but deeply regret your treatment. You deserve better.

  2. It’s hard to balance real life with kink. Doing the laundry for him was good of you, and one of those things that needs to happen sometimes. But he wasn’t being respectful of you, or thankful for your time and attention. You were right to say “no” but it’s never good to punish from a place of anger. It’s hard to be in the right mental space in those situations, but perhaps take a deep breath and say something like this: “I know you’re tired, need to get some sleep and don’t want to undress. But, *if you respect me and want me to continue to be your Mistress*, you need to thank me for doing your laundry and apologize for the disrespectful way you’ve been acting tonight. Then put your hands behind your head and ask me again.”

    Also, you should have times when you do say “No”, but start with times when it’s because you are teasing and enjoying him in other ways – so it’s about you enjoying your control in a good way, and not a punishment.


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    • Thank you, your advice is helpful. Certainly, my timing was not great, because I knew he was half asleep. Perhaps an argument could be made that I should have pursued waking him up entirely to have his full attention, but I that isn’t what I did.

      I would like to see him reach a place where I unlock him because he deserves it, not because it’s expected or there’s no reason not to unlock him. However, I should inform him of my goal, so he understands what is expected of him.

      As an update, he did text this morning to say he was sorry that we fought (which is not the same as apologizing for being disrespectful, I’d like to note).

      We are a work a progress. Your feedback is most appreciated. :)

  3. I hope he will see how he was failing you and will apologize.
    Don’t let this ruin your relationship.


    • No worries that this would ruin our relationship. At best, it would ruin our night. Once given the opportunity to discuss it, we will work things out, I’m sure.

      I thought it was important to write about this hiccup in our FLR, because I do like hearing from other real couples about how they make it work. We’re human, and subject to all the bullshit that comes with that. :)

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